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PostWysłany: Pią 3:20, 23 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

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PostWysłany: Pią 10:02, 23 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

Drink To Friendship

A man and a woman were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were totaled. They climbed from the wreckage and the woman stood in awe. "Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a sign from God that we are to be best friends for the rest of our lives," she spoke wisely. "I agree completely, ma'am," the man replied. The woman stepped closer to examine the damage and noticed something shiny within her car. Reaching in, she pulled out an unbroken bottle. "This bottle of wine wasn't even cracked. I think this is another sign that we are to drink a toast to our new friendship." "That's a great idea, miss," the man answered taking the bottle from her. He popped the cork and drank his share. "I'm sorry. How rude of me. Would you like some?" "No, thanks," came the reply. "I'll just wait for the cops to get here."




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PostWysłany: Pią 10:22, 23 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

If I Could Talk To The Animals

A ventriloquist walked up to an Indian and said "I'll bet I can make your horse talk."
Indian: "Horse no talk"
Ventriloquist: "Sure watch this. Hi horse. How does you master treat you?"
Horse: "Oh, he is good to me. He gives me food, water and he keeps me out of the sun."
Ventriloquist: "I'll bet I can make you dog talk."
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Ventriloquist: "Sure watch this. Dog, how are you? Does your master treat you good?"
Dog: "Oh! He treats me good. He gives me food, water and he plays ball with me."
Ventriloquist: "I'll bet I can make your sheep talk."
Indian: "Sheep Lie! Sheep Lie!"


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PostWysłany: Pią 16:36, 23 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

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PostWysłany: Pią 18:45, 23 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

14 Reasons To Allow Drinking On The Job

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.

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PostWysłany: Pią 18:59, 23 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch
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Most honourable sir :

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PostWysłany: Sob 1:55, 24 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

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PostWysłany: Sob 4:18, 24 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

I use to work as a mainframe operator at a telecommunications company. We were responsible for all software and hardware issues. I received a call from an Operator in our customer service group. She stated that the keyboard to her terminal did not work. I had her try the usual things (was the hold button on?). When none of my instructions cleared the problem, I told her I would be over with a new keyboard. When I got there, I reached behind the monitor and unplugged the keyboard. When I picked it up and brought it to my chest to pull the cord from behind the monitor, I felt something wet on my chest. When I looked down there was a large brown wet spot on my white dress shirt. When I looked at the operator, she shrugged and said 'I forgot to tell you that I dumped my coffee into my keyboard.




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PostWysłany: Sob 15:30, 24 Mar 2007    Temat postu:

Conservative Member of Parliament Geoffrey Dickens tells of attending a fair in his constituency and being followed around by a sweet but exceptionally ugly woman whom he couldn't get rid of. A few days later he got an admiring letter from her asking for his photograph, and signed, after her name, '(Horseface).' Dickens was touched by her humorous modesty and sent off a picture autographed, 'To Horseface, with best wishes, Geoffrey Dickens.' Some time later his secretary asked him, 'Did you get that letter from the woman at the fair? I wrote 'Horseface' after her name so you'd know which one she was.'



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