GILDIA CIEMNOŚCI

Phaetonus · Gość

married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the FATHER.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour if it.The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain that the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.The doctor checked the husbands' blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the milkman was dead in the porch.

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TramPharat · Gość

Optical illusions !

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Very Happy

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DiscoTax · Gość

Life...... I think the life cycle is all backwards.

You should start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then when you start work & get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.

Like I said.... What a way to finish life Smile

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RijikTok · Gość

Simple game, say a word for the next poster to spell, but awnser theirs first.
I'll start.

Spell dichlorodipheneltrichloroethane.

Dont point out the huge flaw in this that renders it pointless will you?

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TotalDose · Gość

This morning I ran to the grocery store for a few Items, when I cam out there was some asshole parked in front of me...in sideways, taking two spaces. I was in my truck and could have just have shoved him away, but thought better of it, and wormed my way out of the parking space. What would you have done, probably the same thing. But what would you really like to do in a disgusting situation, when someone needs to be paid back in some manner or other?

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spheradeus · Gość

Google the phrase "(Your name) looks like" and find the best one from the first page of results. Don't forget to put it in quotes, otherwise it won't work. It is best to put in your first name. This game is hilarious!

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Bramsels · Gość

Send the biker away as much as possible. Give Dave a flying lesson. Hit hard[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

1,080.7 meters was my best.

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radiusX · Gość

I'm horrible at coming up with jokes... and I'm part jewish and this one kid din't know it and made jew joke after jew joke so naturally I started getting a little annoyed... then I came up with the only joke I have ever come up with...

What's red white and blue and laying in a ditch??
A little aryan boy who told to many jew jokes

It's not that good but he shut his mouth atleast... Very Happy

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GirlsGroup · Gość

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.
Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.
Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

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harizmatic · Gość

Couple plan synchronised orgasm

A Californian couple want people across the world to join together in a bid for world peace - by having a synchronised orgasm.

Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Ref fell, 55, hope up to one billion people will get behind the bid on December 22, reports The Sun.

Their website [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] explains the collective ecstasy will "effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy".

The couple want it to take place on the date of the winter solstice to add a spiritual dimension.

And they say it can happen "at the time and place of your choosing - and with as much privacy as you choose".
Smile

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pestolet · Gość

How many people on this forum have a telivision? Me? Yeah but I know it's bad for the eyes and it can cause A.D.D. already half of America has A.D.D. I mean if people didn't watch tv I dont think that kids would be ignored so much,and people would get bored and go out side to jog and lose some weight, husbands would look forward to coming home for dinner and an ice cold pepsi instead of Desperate Housewives,kids would'nt learn such perverted things at such a little age,and me personally America would be better off.

What is all of you guy'zzzzzes opinions? I'd really like to know Very Happy

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Turchanks · Gość

With todays modern genetic findings and technology, should we allow species on this planet, including humans to be artificially modified to bread new speicies? or advancments ?

why wait millenia for evolution to create human or animal advancements?

am i the only one that can see the potential of flying horses? or humans that can fly?

i know at first it sounds daft and knowing i can get abit nuts sometimes, but as other topics i started in here i'm being serious.

who knows what wonderful creations could be possible, also the practical side of things could be advantageous to the planets survival, if we all flew horses instead of cars then a massive amount of industry would be cut.

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SlonElephant · Gość

Pull your own pint

A pub is allowing drinkers to pull their own pints.

Drinkers at the Tapped Bar in Otley, West Yorkshire, pre-pay using a computer and then help themselves.

The tap automatically switches off once each pint has been poured.

According to the Sun, owner Ryan Blackburn said: "It's a pain to queue for ages at the bar - but not now

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FlashNrton · Gość

College Sweaters

Three women at the doctors office. The first one goes in to see the doctor. When the doctor goes to examine her he notices a big "Y" on her chest.

The doctor asks, "Why do you have a big "Y" on your chest?"

She replies, "Well, my boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctor nods and continues on with the next patient. When he examines her he notices a big "H" on her chest.

Agian, the doctor asks, "How did you get a big "H" on your chest?" The woman replys "My husband went to Harvard and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctors just nods his head and continues on with the last patient. As he examines her he notices once again that this woman also has a letter on her chest. A large "M".

He says, "Dont tell me, your boyfriend went to Michigan?"

"No ... " replies the patient. "But my girlfriend went to Wisconsin"

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Privratnk · Gość

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch
In a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer
Came to help with his big strong horse named
Buddy.He hitched buddy up to the car and yelled,
"Pull, nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "pull, buster, pull!"
Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "pull, coco,
Pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "pull, buddy,
Pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out
Of the ditch.The motorist was most appreciative and very
Curious.

He asked the farmer why he called his
Horse by the wrong name three times.

"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he
Was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

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